ILLUSION

It was a routine day at home for Laxmi. She had just completed her daily morning chores. As she slowly dived into the newspaper editorial, her brother came and sat near her. It was a long time since they had an open discussion, unlike yester years when they were always together and nothing was left unsaid between them…

Their Mamma had suddenly become bedridden and Laxmi was thoroughly confused…

She was born into a matriarchal family and was bound to take care of her mother. As an educated and employed daughter, it was her duty as well. Moreover, she was the only daughter in the household and had inherited a major share of their ancestral wealth as well. So she felt it was more of an obligation as well.

But, Laxmi was upset because she was married into a patriarchal set up and her in-laws were highly dependant on her income… They were an orthodox family and didn’t even approve of her frequent visits to her lonely mother…As far as they were concerned it was purely the duty of her brothers to take care of her mother!!!

Laxmi had two kids, both too small to be enrolled for schooling…

Initially she didn’t have the time to think deep and explore all possibilities…So she took leave from her official duties and stayed back home. She took her Mamma for all detailed check ups and finally the verdict came. Her Mamma was in a paralysis and might remain bedridden for long…may be days or months or years…

Enthusiasm started dwindling as days went by…

During the first few hours everyone was around their Mamma, all children and all dependants. Then slowly, each one withdrew and finally they jointly decided to recruit a domestic maid and a home nurse for her care, after a week of the medical verdict.

None volunteered to stay back even in shifts…Not even the unemployed in-laws.
Laxmi too joined in helplessly…

As she traveled to join her official duty, her mother’s helpless face stared at her as she bid farewell and took leave…it haunted her…

“My Mamma knows my present situation better than anyone else,” Laxmi tried to console her self. She had left her kids too back at home so that she can do maximum travel and try to balance all roles. Life after all is a live drama…

She couldn’t imagine of leaving her kids at her quarters, that too alone with a baby sitter as she went for work. Her husband and in-laws were in different places and none were in a position to join her…She thought that kids would be more comfortable back home; at least they can see their grandma round the clock. They adored their grandma….with her toothless face and caring style…

Moreover, kids were familiar with the domestic maid also. Not just that, Mamma would be slightly relieved to have them around…

She called home soon upon arrival and her elder kid, Lavanya practically broke over the phone…She depicted the days’ morning scene with real clarity. Grandma had not taken her medicines…She has not had her sponge bath…Kids were yet to have their breakfast…It was nearing ten o’clock. Laxmi sighed. She tried to console her kids and pleaded them to behave like good girls until she returned and to keep peace at home!!!

Files that required immediate decision were already piled up in front of her…She read through each…Her subordinates explained the technical and situational details of each case vividly. She heard them all. Then, she slowly tied back all files and told them “I shall be back soon.” She walked to the office canteen with slow and thoughtful gestures.
Once there, she ordered for a coffee, sipped it slowly and inked leave letter for half day.

Comfortably back at her quarters, she made a call to all concerned in a row.

She called her best friend…She was shocked to know that her Mamma was all laid up. She said it s a stage of life which would soon pass. She said its her moral duty to take care of her Mamma being her only daughter…she added to her confusion. “It’s easy to drop an application for long leave. But remember your position is a responsible one. You may not get the request approved as per your expectations. It’s also not easy to get another job in a similar position, later. Education of your kids would soon demand more of your time and resources…Your in-laws won’t approve of your loss of pay leave and related cut in finances. Take time and think well. Be sure that you don’t repent later.”
She was speaking from her college and she cut off promising to give Laxmi a call after her next session of tutoring…

Laxmi sat back and tried to relax. She recited verses from the Bhagavad-Gita…But it brought forth the helpless faces of her Mamma and kids more clearly. She couldn’t bear any longer…Tears rolled down her cheeks…

It was nearing twelve noon. Sun pierced sharp through the bay window…

As some tension got relieved, Laxmi made another call. Lakshmika now took the phone and babbled in her language “Mamma where are you? When will you come?” At this, Lavanya grabbed the receiver and said “Mamma, here Grandma has not had her medicines so far. Tears were wetting her pillow as we sat near her and had our breakfast…We have just finished. Anna aunty, who was entrusted for cleaning grandma’s room, has not turned up so far. Rosy aunty, grandma’s nurse has also not cleaned the room. It’s real stingy. Why did you leave? Mamma? Mary aunty is all angry since early morning as she is unable to run the show herself.” Laxmi could now imagine exactly what was going on there in her absence…So she asked her to get Rosy on the phone…Lavanya replied thus “ Because she has gone for her bath, I told you all this. Both aunt’s here had a serious fight in the morning…We were really terrified. Lachu was immensely frightened, that she hugged me for quite long. We want to be with you…Please Mamma…”

Laxmi’s tension mounted. Nothing was enough to help her relax. Her calling bell rang and she lethargically went to open the door. The very sight of one of the beneficiary nearly irritated her, but, she composed herself and managed “I shall be there in another hour. Please leave your number, I shall do the needful and ask the concerned to intimate you.”

At this she decided to finally tend in a long leave so that her superiors would manage the works smooth with someone recruited into the leave vacancy, she thought.

Now she called her man. She narrated her feelings, situation at home, and kids’ attitude and so on…

“I am glad you have decided on the leave. It’s inevitable. Money would be a constraint, but, let’s hope there will be some way to manage that. God will definitely open many doors as he closes one…” It was motivational morally supportive speech from her husband. But as financial problems surface in future, this positivism would soon vanish… Laxmi was truly frightened right within. However, she refrained from expressing that.

Her colleagues stepped in at lunch break. They ordered food for her and explored the situation. They volunteered to manage office work until her leave was approved which relieved part of her tension, she was so committed a perfectionist!!!! However, all of them warned her to adjust and set the ball rolling soon at home and rejoin at the earliest. They motivated her to decide on the option that best gave her solace…

“Employed women have a hard life. Generally you do triple the work as your counter parts. Ladies have a still more hard time at such crucial situations. You have multiple roles to perform. Because you strive for perfection in everything you attempt, you are under severe stress. Try to balance…try to score 50-60% in all possible roles- as daughter, daughter-in-law, wife, sister, officer, friend, mother, writer…then all your issues will vanish. Otherwise you get doomed…Finances are an inevitable component to run life smooth…A sudden cut in resources would create lot of unexpected problems. These are expensive stages…all savings would soon get liquidated…So keep the target of leave to make the maids get accustomed to routine and see that you report back as early as possible…” Such went the advices.


So, the most practical way out is another long leave. I shall plead with the concerned agency and request for one of their best domestic nurses. I shall go up and plead my parents-in-law to join me here at office quarters. Then, I can bring my kids down here. I can leave the familiar and relatively faithful domestic maid with Mamma and find a new babysitter for kids. I can avail a loan and buy a car so that I can travel home on all holidays. So now the decision is made…Thank god.

Now, I have to convince my boss to accept my leave. I can quote my team mates; I already have their oral permission; Laxmi thought loudly. She summed up all courage to meet him. She packed necessary things for children that needed to be taken home and made a call to console them…

Whether Laxmi succeeded in managing the situation effectively….…
To be continued…