WHAT WENT WRONG???

A narration on the feelings of being obese, an exploration of what leads into it and ways of tackling it… sharing of a real life situation…

Lavanya was a smart young lady, now in her late thirties. She had a blooming profile in spite of her stature and complexion…Her eyes was always shining and happy, however tired she may be after a long day. Well read, sensitive and sensible a personality, she was her mothers’ pet even at that age! Her friends genuinely envied her for this openly.

Lavanya peeped out of the window, the sun was just rising. The view from the tenth floor of the hospital where she was admitted after an abdomino-plasty was quite and appealing. Road was calm except for the few newspaper boys and milkmen. Small boys were flying past in bicycles with newspapers. Another set was balancing many blue boxes filled with packets of milk on different types of two-wheelers…

“Is child labour genuinely banned by law in our place?” She thought aloud. “Why aren’t there any newspaper girls these days? Nor any milk woman either?”

There were many men, both old and young, in sports attire, jogging along. Some were just striding past, while very few were really exercising on their morning walk. “They should get more motivation and training for effective jogging, what can I do about that?” She voiced again. Many don’t know how to check ones pulse and note the fat burning zone to make jogging effective. Majority start and maintain a regular pace, with no warming up and gradual build up and further slow down. Whatever might be the manner of jogging, the fresh air that we receive during this time of the day is highly precious because of the high oxygen content and less of vehicular pollutants. So it’s ultimately beneficial whether you jog out of self motivation or under pressure from your family or friends!

Lavanya’s bystander (home nurse) was busy cleaning herself. She was always very neat and tidy as if she has to go out for a movie anytime…While I can’t even just get up and enjoy life yet… Oh I am getting negative, Lavanya purposefully diverted her thoughts. Her gaze went back on to the roads.

She remembered the old lady who used to give milk at their doorstep when she was a child. Madhavi was a fragile old lady. She kept many cows at her home and used to deliver milk in our neighbourhood. She used to reach our home before 6am. Mama would have already kept a washed vessel with lid for her to pour milk. She would measure milk in a small cup with a long handle from a big can and pour into this vessel. Then she would gather all the edible left-over, fruit wastes, etc and leave. This milk by itself was very fresh and tasty and we used to wait patiently to get it boiled… Madhavi would again come back at noon, on her second round of delivery. But now, the volume would be less and she has only few deliveries. She would now have a big bucket with her in which she would carefully drain all the rice soup kept apart for her from every household. At times when her children are a bit free, she would stay back and share her burdens. Mama used to wonder how Madhavi managed all this work at that age. Oh, God, You gave her adequate strength to help her tide over her hardships. We depended on her on all festive occasions to clean our courtyards. Collecting cow dung in plastic bags from her home was an errand all of the boys at home despised and absconded regularly! The very thought bought a lost smile to Lavanya’s face and her mother asked: “What was the sight out on the roads early morning that made you smile so beautifully?”
“I just remembered our old Madhavi Amma and our Onam festivals that are all.” Lavanya replied.

Just then the bell rang announcing their breakfast. The room service boy was very young, maybe just out of school, failed or drops- out? He was clad in a clean white uniform and was all smiling, positive energy emanating from him all round…he seemed to enjoy his job.

“How come there are two flasks and two casseroles today also? Am I still on liquid diet?” mourned Lavanya.

“You are just after a major surgery, that too after careless over eating over years…Remember that every moment and learn to take care of yourself at least from now on. How long do you think I would remain to advice you? I am quite old and dependant myself.” Her mother started murmuring.
“Oh Mama, please, I shall be extra careful from now on,” promised Lavanya and put her mother soon at ease…

As she had her food, she pondered over her Mamas statements. She had such a caring mother, an affectionate husband, adorable kids and adjusting in-laws. They used to follow simple diet at home.

Then, What Went Wrong???

Lavanya was determined to delve, explore and narrate so that others could be saved in future…
She requested her maid to help her sit comfortably for sometime, took her scribbling pad and started…

As a new born, I was premature, extremely fragile and underweight. Medical life prediction was just few months and later extended to few years, by Gods grace and my Mamas care. I remained undernourished and too small for my age up to my teenage years. However, I could actively participate in all events both at school and in my neighbourhood. I was fed carefully with one medication after another for better health, immunity and what not! But, gradually as I grew, I gained weight and turned out to be quite a normal child. I was an active member of my school dancing team as well as athletics…

My father was a fit person all along. He had never caught a cold and never took a pill in my memory. He used to follow a strict diet, yoga, jogging and all for a disciplined gentleman. Even at sixty, he was the hero of our area! Aptly named the “Ethan Mani- traditional clock that represented history!!!”

My Mama was a slim lady all through her life too .She ate very little; rather she hated food the most…and was a pure vegetarian. Despite some contrasts, they mutually matched each other.

Collegiate years were extremely busy under the professional set up. Physical education was an inevitable academic component that girls generally shrugged, except for a few of us .Immediately after that I got married. Slowly I had transformed into non vegetarian diet at my in-laws affectionate compulsion. This transition occurred over a period of more than 3 years and all along I was an employed daughter-in-law, without gaining much weight.

Soon after conception, I became prone to morning sickness and lost weight tremendously. Everyone was genuinely concerned about my health…

On my third month, I had to be put under bed rest and minor doses of hormone injection. I had to quit my job, avoid all sorts of travel, advised against lifting all heavy things…

Gradually, I started gaining weight. I could easily catch hold of anything I was craving for and my only task was having food, reading and taking rest. Unlike yester years, lifestyle has undergone drastic change from grinding stone to table top wet grinder; mixer cum juicer; fresh home made foods to fast foods; refrigeration and reheating in microwave and even home delivery kits that can be ordered over the telephone; biomass fuels to LPG and induction or kinetizing; broomsticks to vacuum cleaning; walking to two and three wheelers; washing and rinsing to tumble and spin wash with driers and so on…Even in self sufficient villages adoption of this life style changes was assessed as a gauge of status and forward nature. Most parents appraise these during screening of marriage proposals too. Technology is a boon in disguise for the less blessed, especially for the ill healthy fellows and those under isolated conditions, especially during lack of external help. Machines can never replace man; however fully automatic these might be! Once the investments are made its advisable to use it rather than preserving for paid maintenance after the warranty period. Plagiarism associated consumerism is having a great toll in our place…I was no exception.

Social gatherings being a common feature and cooking being something I enjoyed as a hobby, aggravated the availability of different types of “attractive foods”- unsuitable modern items. I should exercise extra caution in training my child on her food habits…I should evolve health conscious and nutrition rich items for her.

By the time my healthy and beautiful baby was delivered, I was more than 25% overweight. So obese, that I stopped peeping into the mirror… But at this time I got retained for about a fortnight as I was suffering from severe wheezing. So, post delivery care was naturally delayed. However, recommendations to follow physiotherapy exercises weren’t heeded to either. I purposefully shunned all fat-building natural therapy techniques too.

I was truly enjoying my motherhood when I got a rare chance to take up another lucrative assignment immediately. As against the advice of all loved ones, I jumped at the opportunity and went off to work at the wrong time…within 100days of delivery. I had joined after a long break that too in an environment typically matching my profile and my career was soaring heights, though away from home. My efforts to keep my babe with me failed miserably as I couldn’t get an efficient baby-sitter. My cousins and mother took turns to accomplish this for me until the babe was a year old. Then I left her under the care of my mother and tried to concentrate on my career. But, then, the chaos began.

Shuttling between an assignment in a remote area and my babe at home ruined my health and transformed our very family atmosphere. Everybody, started open opinions and advices that I should quit my job for collective good. I too was confused. Lot of ladies with kids was working. Even my mother and mother-in-law were employed ladies; there were colleagues with babes as well. But my responsibilities at work were different and conditions more rigid. So after so much of thought and pain I finally decided to quit.

By this time, I had become real ugly an amoeba in my figure!!!
But neither my family nor my friends motivated me into treating obesity as a disease condition…
Beyond imagination, my confidence and outlook of life remained at its usual high…

I adapt to changes fast and thus restarted enjoying my motherhood with more pleasure. Simultaneously, with adequate spare time, I slowly started thinking about caring for myself… I finally decided to regain my lost composure, to make a try... I browsed the internet extensively and analyzed various options available. Life is beautiful after all…

There were already many joggers those days. Almost all men…Many elders either solo or in doubles, while youngsters were mostly as teams… So, I too started going for morning walks. With my neighbors for company, I really enjoyed the cool morning breeze and adequate dose of fresh air… Walking on bare legs is real Herculean for the obese lot…let alone walking for more than half an hour… SO, I bought a pair of jogging shoes .Now walking and jogging was really comfortable… However, I felt it was quite funny wearing that with Churidar and I felt like a pumpkin rolling on the road at this age…Slowly, my conservative mind controlled me and in two days, I withdrew myself from walking let alone jogging under one pretension or another…The pre monsoon showers came as another blessing in disguise…

I started searching for indoor options. Naturally, yoga was what caught my attention next. I identified a teacher and a ladies only batch for practice. Initially, it seemed comfortable. Especially the savasana for relaxation…the breathing exercises and so on… But as the asanas progressed, I found that I can’t bend at all in many postures. Still, I strained myself so hard that I got bedridden. Bleeding was heavy and prolonged. I got dropped out from that batch and waited hopefully to join the next…Practically, it was like I had already quit this option too…

Next experimenting was with the sauna heat belt. Wah, such an item that aptly fits the lazy –goose category, I was truly enthralled… The product was delivered at my door over telemarketing facility. As demonstrated in telecast, I just have to plug it and sit. I started hiring CD’s from the nearest library and watching one everyday, to adjust TIME spent on the sauna belt, twice a day… I tried that for some days… but in vain. There was no prominent change…

Now I decided to seek professional advice… I met a natural therapist. She had been with me since few years and knows my hyperbolic profile…She had put me into tests to rule out what triggered this and makes me hypertensive…But, Alas, none specific to point to…

However, she advised me on a diet change and some medication. I took a long time adjusting with the proposed diet and all around teased me for these funny foods… I felt I am getting isolated in groups. However, I pulled on and started the medication after so much of effort .Unfortunately, though I successfully completed the diet schedule, the prescribed medication was totally unsuitable… prolonged bleeding and related hospitalization forced me to denounce the very idea of obesity control!!!!!

Hypertrophy continued and soon I regained the weight I had shed over time… Now I had difficulty climbing stairs, walking fast and even accomplishing all household chores!!! Months past…My amoebic figure became pathetic a one to behold…Slowly, one by one, my family started suggesting me on ways to reduce weight…I started exploring new options…

There was a dance class in my present neighbourhood. I was also a former student of dance years ago. I visited the teacher, but to my dismay, my wish to restart the same as an obesity control mechanism did not receive ample support. In spite of this unexpected response, I spent some time collecting cinematic music suitable for work outs, real fast and motivating numbers, recorded them and tried using it to re-train myself. My family members themselves stared at me! So that may be why the teacher shunned the very idea. She was very busy even otherwise. The idea was pinched at its early stage…Poor me!!!!

But youngsters now have enough options including Salsa…Dancing, swimming and cycling helps you be fit…I should put my kids onto that soon…

Now, I attended a supportive service for obesity control in a clinic of repute. Diet therapy was initiated again followed by massage and cellulite control. It seemed more integrated. However after my initial sessions they said that I had stubborn fat and would need a prolonged period of treatment. Exercises, was added as an inevitable component of this treatment, and so I sought support of a Physio- therapist. Everyone was so enthusiastic by now and supported me whole heartedly. We even bought an excellent thread mill and recumbent cycle and designed a space as exclusive home gym…. However, prolonged bleeding set in soon than any other…The very sight of these equipments later became a nightmare for me.

Joint pain set in. Obesity related difficulties were only on the hike. Practicing meager diet control was better said than done. Even medication under an Endocrinologist didn’t produce prominent results…

All that I tried, I quit sooner…

Gents lose weight quickly compared to ladies; post delivery care should be done immediately, otherwise it can never be remedied; central obesity is highly dangerous as it makes you more prone to cardiac problems and stroke….thus went the danger sirens from all around.

None of the dresses now suit me. Helplessness in accomplishing daily chores increased. I started confining myself to my home. I hated visitors who commented on my physique…

So I decided to give aerobics a final try. Was it lack of motivation that was pulling me back? I had my own doubts.

The aerobics session with all its music and the guides’ earnest effort also was not my forte either.

By now, my daughter has come to her kindergarten. I used to drop her at her nursery and pick her up at noon. Other parents who came in thus initially presumed I was pregnant. But when even after months, my belly remained “ready to deliver anytime”, they too started advising me…I cancelled my sole outing option too…

Obesity related stress was building up and side by side careless eating habits…

That was when an advertisement caught me…Tablets that help you reduce weight…A no diet, no exercise regimen…Try that also, my mind suggested…But, there are so many types of herbal derivatives…the market is full of such things!!!
I explored and selected one completed the course…No use again!! !It seemed to work for some… Who knows…

What is going wrong???

I analyzed again. I dreamt of all possible alternatives. Generally, I am so afraid of hospitals. I have been an inpatient only for my delivery. However, I fixed an appointment and consulted the surgeon.

There are different options. Please see the write up on Gastric banding, Liposuction, Plastic surgery so on…

Initially, you should start on medication and prescribed diet for at least 3 months, coupled with normal activities. As you lose weight, you can slowly start some exercises. Meanwhile you should treat all that a disease that may prop up. Surgery is the next resort to regain body line. It’s impossible otherwise for such high BMI!!!

“It’s a major surgery. But it’s advisable at this age. Think well. Do you want to be a patient of hypertension, cardiac attack or stroke proneness, kidney failures, and joint pains and so on? Do you want to get secluded in life? You would become more and more worthless, won’t be able to enjoy life at all if you decide to continue thus. It’s your choice. Enjoy while you are alive.”

Her motivation was what bought me finally into this and now I decided to become adamant to take care of myself for collective good…

Try and try until you succeed. After all Life is so Very Beautiful.

Now I have to opt for muscle toning after prescribed rest and gestation period. Not only that it cost dear, it warranted so much of care and patience for nearly a year…

Gaining weight was so easy!!! Losing it is NOT!!!

Lavanya closed her pen and handed over her pad for her mother’s approval. Her mother read the piece of literature and asked: “I never knew this troubled you so much. You never seemed to give it a shit. I thought you were just careless or lazy. But, do you want to send this for publication? Think well before you do…”

“Mama, I think this would be a motivation to all those down there who are turning obese. I hope it would help people become more cautious. It would help them explore ways of tackling themselves in any way suitable for them. At the least it would stimulate the obese fellows like me to think about themselves.”

A POSITIVE MINDSET IS THE VERY BEGINNING.

GOD ALONE GUARANTEE…

“Hi Mamma, I got a new friend;” said Namitha; purposefully hiding her excitement.

“How come? Its more than three years since you went out of home!” came the innocent response from her aged and ailing mother. She couldn’t conceal her bewilderment or astonishment.

She shot an array of questions at her loving daughter:
“Is it a boy or a girl?” – Boy, No Man, married with a kid. His name is Edison….replied Namitha patiently.
I got introduced online, she added...

“How did he know about you?” the query was harsh and sharp.

“I was browsing for blogs based on our city…I saw a site and there were few authors…I have been reading some of them and this one appeared simple…I responded to one of his articles, adding a comment. He used to post regularly and I used to drop in to read too. The online editions of newspapers- both local and others- are easily accessible from there. Also they have a separate section to introduce people into computers, web etc and another one on finance, specifically suitable for laymen. Everyday, there would be something you can learn…I was already familiar with two other authors…I commented regularly on those that I felt attracted to. The style was lucid and topics very common…I couldn’t refrain myself…” admitted Namitha, who was on the verge of tears. Oh! I should not have created a panic, she regretted.

“Mamma, there’s nothing to worry. A site or blog is like a common platform. It’s like an electronic magazine. People can read and post means write their comments, if they want to. The comments reach the author before it gets published. That’s all;” she tried to pacify her Mamma.Oh, God! How am I going to convince her on matters relating to computers?????she thought to herself.

“He sent me an email for one of my latter responses. Meanwhile, I came to know he was managing that site, trying to keep it alive. A journalist by profession, he is now engaged in some other position overseas and amidst his busy schedule he was running the show. As I read through the lines, I felt he was on a forced assignment. I don’t know why; but, thereafter, I started forwarding the criticizing comments to his email and the good ones were posted appreciatively on the blog. I searched for his previous articles and the topics and style of presentation were equally good….” Namitha noted the growing anguish on her Mammas face as she continued with her narration.

“You started revealing about yourself to a total stranger!!!” Her Mamma was taken aback. “You are a grown up lady. Still behaving like children. Are you crazy? I am getting terrified. What made you feel to believe an unknown person? Don’t you read newspapers daily? I am terrified by most of the reported contents and here you are acting silly, damn silly;” lamented her mother.

“Do you think people will believe you as you express your ignorance and straightforward nature? It’s a world of exploitation all round and see a fool submitting her self to strangers, how dare you do such things. I thought you had still a long way to go in managing computers and its usage…Every technical aid has its plus and minus. You are searching out the negatives…”

“What else do you know about this fellow, what was his name? Edison? Am I right?? Continued Mamma.
“Nothing more than his name,” replied poor Namitha.
“Then better stop it here,” she warned sincerely that too in one of her sharp tones.

Now Namitha was totally confused. I started the story to seek her permission to send some photos. Alas, I have spoiled the matter…

Now Mamma would shout at Naveen for having purchased this system and trained me on chatting…She would be tensed as my hubby is around. She would suspiciously view every stranger for Edison. She would get upset if I get a bit late from the routine bill payments and purchases…She’s going to watch me close…Better I refrain from further contacts, decided Namitha.

Kids arrived after their day’s toil. Grandma was still murmuring around.

“What is the latest issue, Mamma?” Enquired the elder. Mamma took her to the system and showed the whole responses and details…Oh! So many infant foeticides, she exclaimed. She was astonished by the range of articles; the memoir of a small boy receiving a gift at school and that of a postman allured her…

“What is the problem in this?” She repeated. Namitha took her to the blog page with comments. “Good. Mamma. I felt the same,” she said after reading the comments. “But, what is the problem? She was thoroughly irritated.

“The author seeks friendship…” replied her mother. “ I asked grandma for permission. She disagreed.”

“That’s so natural of her. She is educated and aged. But she is ignorant of computer and is afraid of risks. We can’t predict the consequences. Also how Appa might react to the whole matter”; responded her daughter.

Namitha was a bit relieved. Gender seems to be the major issue. After all, that’s a primary point. As long as this friendship remains true and mutually trustworthy, it seems OK; she thought. If I walk out, will I be disappointing or demotivating the fellow? Whom shall I ask for an opinion, she thought seriously…?

“Mamma is really confused. Leave her alone. Let her decide upon friendship and the terms and conditions!!!!!!!” she over heard her elder saying to her younger sibling…

“Yes exactly. I need time to think.” She engaged herself in other domestic routines during the whole week…


Did Namitha resolve her confusion? How?
....TO BE CONTINUED...

Thank you.