MOLLY'S MUSINGS

"Something is wrong with you,Molly;" Said Annie.
I have been observing you since few days.
You seem troubled.
Whats on your mind?
Is there some confusion?
The queries continued,non stop.

That's Mammas nature; thought Molly.

How am I to tell her?
What would she think?
How much should I tell her?
All these went through Molly's mind.

So far, Molly and Annie were great friends. Molly could never successfully keep anything hidden or unshared with her Mamma. But this time, she was not sure.

Her confusion was whether she should stand with her friend, Jude or confide in her Mom...

Molly has just completed her matriculation.Parents were searching out possible options for her future studies. She loves English and longed to opt for higher studies on that.She dreamt of becoming a college lecturer and thereafter preparing for Civil Services.She was very much attracted by the power and role of Collectors.

Her cousin who was staying with them had not qualified for Medicine in spite of two repeated attempts in the Entrance Examination.

Everybody in her ancestral family wanted her to try for that as she was the youngest in the lot. There has to be a doctor in the family !!!!
(Else,what a disgrace?!!!!)

All her cousins were professionals in other fields.None pursued Medicine for various reasons.Lucky fellows.

Her younger brother was sure he wanted to be an engineer.

More over he doesn't like insects, animals, visiting hospitals and so on...
His list of non compatibility with Medicine was so long and leak proof.

The very sight of a cockroach at home makes him yell out of fright.Dissecting one for Zoology practicals was beyond his range of comprehension....

Mamma has friends and she has come to know about her marks from the tabulation section.Molly has good scores for all subjects.

Now,naturally Mamma would tighten her demand of opting for Science group, maybe an additional Maths. Oh God, save me, prayed Molly,fervently.

But how can I break the ice? Molly was troubled about that.

She was in fact waiting for an opportunity when Mamma asked her to get ready to visit her friends home.

Her friend Meenakshy was a peer at her music class. Senior by few years, her father was the best Maths Professor in the city.

As Molly asked about the purpose of the visit, Annie said that they should reserve their seats for +1 tuition in advance to get tutored under him, privately.

"So,am I opting for Group I?Mamma"asked Molly.

I prefer to opt for Group III and thereafter continue higher studies in English.If I feel confident, I also wish to try my hand at Civil Services, she voiced her opinion.

"Wah!Great!" said Annie.

Actually Molly, I want you to opt for Medicine with Maths additional to help you backup Science and try for Medical entrance. I am sure you will get through.

If you don't then we can think of alternate option then.

After all trying for Civils' is easy after Medicine than English. You get so well honed from a Medical College...

"Oh God no.......you cant be so cruel..."pleaded Molly, silently.

She loved and adored her mother. But the desire in her eyes...it haunted her...She didn't have the courage to oppose...

At this juncture she was more confused whether she should share her concern about Jude with her mother.

Finally Molly sought solace in her father.

She openly said that she was not interested to continue with Science and Maths.

Her father consoled her and guided her thus: he said that's the trend in the society. Once results are published your teachers would also facilitate you into this very stream. If you think out of the normal circle, they would call you crazy!!!

Her father a well learnt man, was only willing to let her choose any choice of her taste.But he didn't want to call upon the wrath of her MOM !
he admitted openly. He also added that Molly would definitely shine as a teacher and that she had the talent and commitment. After all there is still scope to be a teacher in the Medical College !!!!

Molly felt totally let down by her parents. She cursed herself for having studied well...

She calculated her parents' projections....
2 years of pre-university+6 years of graduate course in medicine+a year of house surgeoncy +about 3 years of a medical PG and then another 2 years for Civils preparation...If selected, that process would take a year to complete follwed by another year of training...So, 16years of another term for dedicated hard work...
Oh God be with me...I am submitting hereforth to fulfill the dreams and aspirations of my parents and thereafter mine, ...if anything is left in me !!!!

Her track of life being decided, she started again to struggle with what was annoying her...

Her close friend Jude had confided in her that as results are out, her father, a Doctor himself, would enroll her for Group I, Maths. He prefers her to become an engineer.Opposing at this stage would hamper the household as such. So she plans to move ahead as per his instructions. But, she won't perform well in the entrance examination and so wont get a seat for engineering! Her father would think, his daughter was not that lucky and enroll her for Graduation in Maths, of course that's her perfect choice too.During the program also she wont put maximum effort as during school years and that would facilitate her father to get her married off at the earliest, Jude had calculated.

But why Jude was making all this permutation combinations, Molly could not understand.She so much wanted to share it with Annie, but her own experience warned her otherwise.

If only I had more courage or if I had been more clever, I could also have discovered some other way to follow my taste and track, mused Molly...

I cannot hurt my parents, Molly realized and she buried her concerns deep within her.It disturbed her sleep for few more days and later she became busy with truck loads to study...

To be continued...