HAUNTING MEMORIES

It was a wonderful morning. The busy traffic was just subsiding down. Climate was really appealing. It was just moderate, no rains and not much hot either. It was an ideal time to be outdoors. Or sit in the open verandah and read story books. Or even for a long journey with your family. God’s own country!

Anu closed her story book. She imagined about Enid Blyton, her favorite author. She enjoyed all those stories about Mr. Pink Whistle, the Invisible Man, and Famous Five and so on. She was a regular and voracious reader of Blyton.

“What to do next?” she thought to herself.

It was vacation time. Anu had finished all her morning chores. She had no school to go to or any summer camps. She had already completed reading the “Amar chitra katha” Indian epics depicted in pictures for children, availed from the library last week. Now she was feeling restless as her brother is yet to complete reading the same for return. He lacks time for reading, using only the heavy sunshine hours at noon to be at home on that. He enjoyed reading comics and epics. So Anu waited for him to complete.

Her brother, Anil had gone out to play table tennis with his friends in the indoor stadium. He spends the forenoons there and evenings in the open space nearby playing cricket. He had so many friends, she envied. He is really enjoying the vacation too, Anu felt sad. In both these places there were only boys and though Anil had called her repeatedly, she was terribly shy and hence refrained herself. Moreover, she was more interested in arts than sports. Her violin sessions were routine and it got finished in the morning itself.

Her parents were committed officers and they make their move every morning, sharp and punctual. They were so duty bound that she seldom got them early in the evenings even during vacations.

Naturally, books became her best friends. ..As she moved between books, she spent short intervals chatting with the vegetable vendor or the fisherman. She was left with their domestic maid during the morning hours. She enjoyed watching her maid cleaning the fishes to make curry, and the way she prepared her favorite snacks and so on. Some of these items seemed like real magic to her. The way her maid covers the banana pieces in flour and how it turns golden as she fries in oil; the manner in which she rolls flour to make murukku and how it becomes soft and stiff when fried;the way the liquid flour turns into beautiful floral designs called achappams and so on…She was attracted to cooking, and so much wanted to give a try at something, but they wont permit her saying she would get burnt!

As school closed they had a fortnight at the summer camp and special sessions in the dancing classes, both of which is over. Her mother was waiting to get leave for a few days to accompany kids to their native place. The very thought facilitated rewinding of lots of irritating moments through her small mind. She hated the very idea while it was something her brother cherished.

One of her uncle was a pedophile and she disliked him so much. She was just ten years old and she could never understand why he had done this to her, long back itself. She so much wanted to tell her mother about him, but she didn’t know how and when to present the matter. She was terrified whether it would become a big issue. Her father, whom she adored, already disliked sending them off that too alone for over a month. He also strongly felt that they were exploiting her mother’s compassionate nature smoothly. Above all, her uncle was so old, calm, gentle and adorable one for all around.

She had so many cousins of her own age there and none ever commented about him thus or in any negative way. Above all her mother loved this uncle and used to entrust them usually under his care!!!

She recollected the clever and shrewd ways by which he would try his level best to catch hold of her. He used the biggest corner room upstairs. From there he could get a clear view of all the surroundings around their home. Early in the morning, he would never come down for tea, which was against his usual mode. Her aunty being aged would call for him many times from beneath the staircase. Their children would not even give it a shit; instead they would expect their Mom to attend to their own chores in the minutest detail. If not, they would also shout at her. Their elder sons were already employed and daughters were college students. All were selfish and lazy to the core. In fact Anu hated being there not only because of her uncle but because of them too. She could never tolerate her aunt suffering silently with all the household chores. She herself was quite aged and not very healthy either. But she seldom scolded her children. Her uncle would wait until their children have gone off. He would still remain unheeded to her aunts’ voice signals and the calling bell fitted for the purpose. Naturally her aunt would now summon her for the errand. Formerly she used to accomplish the task happily, but now she would either quit for playing or persuading her brother compromising her day’s toffees and lollipops. Nobody ever did this to her and so she herself had a guilty feeling that it was unfair. Hence she refrained to the earnest extent possible.

Even at that age her uncle used to go for office work and so she knew he would come down anyway. She used to heave a sigh of great relief as he walked past the gate!!! Now she was free until evening…

She would engage herself in playing for sometime comfortably.

Early in the morning she used to sweep the big courtyard and gather the dry leaves from underneath Mango and Jack trees to be burnt by her aunty later. Then she would help her with washing vessels in the morning, evening and night. She has to wash the clothes of her brother and hers, accompany her brother for domestic purchases of vegetables and grocery too. She was entrusted with opening and closing of all windows at dawn and dusk. It was a huge house with too many windows upstairs and still more downstairs. Peeling and cutting vegetables, scraping coconut for the curry, rolling flour for chapattis were the cooking assistant chores. At times she used to feel terribly ODD. She would imagine herself to be back at home, where she was never allowed for even the easiest of domestic chores.

Her mother never knew about all this and she didn’t have the courage to express either. Her Mom seemed to adore these people, she wondered WHY???

Many a times she regretted for having born as a girl. Prayers was something in which she found immense solace, even at so tender an age. It relieved the tensions of her little mind. She would solemnly request rather beg Lord Krishna to guard her through from all sorts of devils. Tears would roll down her eyes at such occasions and she would quickly control herself. She disliked others coming to know about her sorrows. She was always with a happy face and hardworking affectionate adorable darling. In fact, she knew that even many of her elder cousins were envious of her for that…

On most days she would visit her Grandmother who was staying a few hundred metres apart. She would go there, sit with her, sing some songs, watch her have her food and return before dusk. Granny was quite old and fragile, bedridden too. So she could never tell her anything. She could neither read, so no use trying to show her something in writing either!

Anu tried to be on her guard with all her male cousins there suspecting them too for pedophilia!!! She didn’t know how to assess them for or against. So she seldom sought anybody’s support and was depicted as a city-bred, overbold and adamant girl, over mature for her age!!! It was not her true self, but she felt helpless as she could not even attempt to change that image. She rather felt safe with that pseudo-mask!!!

When the festive days are around, her Uncle too has holidays. So she would somehow manage to stay with her Grandmother. Here there were many people around too and every moment she was on her guard. But still she enjoyed better…chores were limited to cleaning vegetables or serving food. She could always be with her Grandma who was so soft and extremely affectionate, far more expressive of her love for her children unlike her Mom and Aunties… Anu truly adored her Grandma…But she was afraid to stay there either for long.

In this compound, there were so many houses one adjacent to another and all were her relatives. She would have food from her Grandmothers house and sleep with the oldest of her aunties. None of them were employed and their lifestyle was entirely different from that of her mother. The way they interrogate her was intolerable. None back home ever spoke with her that way either. They always wanted to know whether her parents had a comfortable family life, what all they had bought for us during the year, about any appliances we had bought at home, our food menu, details of paternal relatives and so on…At times she used to get extremely irritated by this, that she would imagine and narrate stories of a long list of things!!! Just to watch their reaction in Oohoos and Aahaaas!!!

Finally she would start praying intensely for her schools to reopen…their Parents would come just few days before, to take them back. Even then, her tension would prevail, keeping herself on the watch and guard duty for self protection. This was something that she went through on all long vacations, without any change what so ever.

Enjoyments were limited to the few hours of playing with kids of her age and the precious moments with her Grandma, as for the rest….

As they board the train to return, she would be so happy that she was safe and thank God wholeheartedly, while her Mom and brother would struggle wiping off their tears for having had to leave them….then….